The relation between Fear and Exercise

There is a relation between our fears and exercise. I am not sure whether I can call an direct relationship or not, so I will call it that a direct.

We all have some or other fears inside us. When we think about it, we want to conquer them. But we have to face them, we either run away or stand still as if we have lost all our powers to face them. My fear is to talk with people and meet unknown people. As soon as I see them in front of me, I get nervous, my vocabulary is flushed out my body and I starting fidgeting with my phone and face. Last year at this time, I had General Management and Communication Skills course where I had decided to make people remember me. At the end of the course, I had memories of happy days.

But but, I did a mistake of concluding that I have over come my fear. Those 15 days were not easy and things did not come naturally to me, yet the achievement made be believe that the fear does not exist anymore. After that my confidence had increased and I believed that I can face anyone.

After around 4 months, I got hired and I thought I would rock with new people in office. As the week passed by, my actions were not matching with my idea of making friends. My fear had grown back and I could not accept it. I already beat you, don’t come back.

In case of exercise, I am not going to say something new. When we exercise, our muscles start growing and we lose our fats and energy. When we stop exercising, we lose what we had gain by doing something. When a person goes to gym and skips the gym session for 2 days, that person will not lose all the muscles totally, but some of it. At the same time, when the person stops going to gym for a longer period even for 2 months. then the person will lose all of the muscles that he gained.

The science of muscles is that it has a memory power like our brain. I learned that while I was learning guitar chords. Our finger muscles learn the pattern of the chords using the muscles memory. When we study why actors and actress are able to maintain a good body shape or get back into shape after being fat for a particular role is because of muscle memory. They have been in shape of long period of time and due to which the muscles have memory which is restored quickly and brings them back to shape.

Same logic apply’s with our fears. When we are facing our fears daily or within short period of time, they lose power slowly and disappear. I realised about this when I was trying to click selfies with strangers. It is one of a thing in my apocalypst. First time when I tired, I was shit scared and failed terribly. One fine day, I went to marine drive with Dhwani and could talk with one man and start it. As the time passed and I stopped trying to do it, I stamped myself that I won’t be able to do it again alone. Today, when I went to National Park with Darshan and decided we will click selfie with stranger, I was scared. I thought I will never be able to do it. But we did it and all the credits goes to Darshan. We took selfie with 2 strangers. While talking with them, I was not communicating properly. It was horrible. I was trying to talk, but my face was covered with fear. I was in the situation where these quote fits the best, “If you can’t beat fear, do it scared”.

So, if any of you are trying to conquer your fears, then keep on hitting them again and again like gym and make it a habit. After someday it will be your comfort zone.

 

 

Fights don’t break, but it makes!

FullSizeRender

Don’t suppress your feelings ever.

I have left my job and learning photoshop on my own. As I told my parents about leaving my accountant paying job, they were in shock. They told me not to share it with my friends and work on it. I am at home all the time. Since, my contact with people have minimised, I had fall into loneliness. Due to which, I had become restless and lost focus from work.

Yesterday, my friend Dhwani texted me she was bored and can’t take it. I was filled with it, I need a break in pattern. So, I decided to spend that afternoon at her place. We watched the first episode of No Tomorrow. After sometime, his friend Pasant came and said Dhwani’s mom that we all are going for a car ride. As all of them came together, I shut myself up. I was shock to listen how openly they could communicate with each other. They were talking about alcohol, hookah and other things which we don’t talk about in front of parents. As we came back, Pasant and Dhwani’s younger sister decided to go to eat waffle. But Dhwani was mad at Pasant, as he did not take her out any day like he take others and said no. They fight for over an hour and then we all left to eat. At that time I said,”I want that”. But it did not struck my mind. I got to see real friendship after ages.

Today, again out of restlessness, I was watching No Tomorrow. In today’s episode Xavier and Evie had a fight and at the end they patch it up. At that time I realised, the whole game is about expressing your feelings. How Dhwani expressed that she was mad and same way Xavier did. The best part of it was, fight did not end that relationship. My life long belief has shattered. Now, I know, a fight will only make the bond stronger than it was.

I have never expressed myself out of fear of losing that relationship. But that fear, kept me away from great relationship (probably).

Now I wonder, if I had told Jash that it was not cool to not ask me for last year navratri, I would have told him about all other things.

If I had told Chirag that I lost respect from him when he told his client to gift him a phone case. I would still be hanging out with him on Sunday evening.

If I had asked Vatsal why he did not tell me about his first kiss, then we would be sharing great things right now.

I wished I had told Dhwani (other friend) that her gift did not mean anything because she did not made it when I was happy about the results. I guessed then we would go to watch Jab Harry Met Sejal.

I wished I had expressed everything to Karan and I could be his friend atleast.

This will definitely change something and I hope I can repair my all the damaged relationship as soon as possible.

 

The Pivot

The new job was perfect. I had nothing to complain about. There was no overtime, colleagues were helpful, boss was more of a mentor than a boss, but with all that came free time. That free time proved lethal to soul. Everyday was predicated before months and it would exactly in that same manner. I could not look up to anything which would make me wake up and spend my day in the office.

Lack of awareness inside stopped me from taking any actions. Losing interest never let me work any better. Inspirational stories all over the virtual world tried to push me, anyway it was virtual. As days passed, I could not tolerate anyone telling me about the work and responsibilities. My inner voice furiously back answered, “I don’t care, I don’t even want to do it”. That seed was growing rapidly and taking over the area. Unaware about me, my senior begin making me wait till late evening without any work. That leads to going outside office and roaming till the clock hits the closing of business hours.

My actions were monitored by my boss and one day he says, “What is wrong with you? You are not at all interested in you work. Tell me, we both will work on it and change it”. “Sir, I am not happy anymore. I don’t find any of my work interesting and most of the time I am sitting ideal. I don’t want money for warming my chair. I never earn those money” I said. He had nothing to say. Without thinking much he said “I don’t want to lose you. You are good and improving in your work. But I have to say that if you do not like this work, please don’t do it. There are thousands of different ways to earn money in this world. Most important thing is there is no reason to do things that you hate. So, if you want to leave the organisation let me know”. Replying okay I left the room with confused face.

My sir had told me everything what was going in my mind. It was an opportunity to get out of routine and live life doing whatever I want to. I have never encountered such an opportunity in my 23-year-old life. I had already made my parents happy by completing my graduation. Ofcourse, they want to see me settle in life, but this wish list are never-ending. My fear of failure was drawn away by my education. It was a rebirth of a child and that child had all the power to imagine he can be anything. Imagination will make him work for it and make it a reality. The question “What will I do ahead?” was replaced by “Why can’t I do that and this? Both of them are amazing”.

Next morning I go to his cabin and said “Thank you sir for showing me the right way. I would love to find it out what other things I can do. I have decided to take guitar and Photoshop right now. I will learn it as much as I can on my own and use my other talents to earn”.

After a two weeks I left my office. My smile could be seen from my face till my feet. I started working on my things without worrying much about future.

The Library

Krupa is a commerce student, being an extrovert, she would always make friends and had days plan ahead. Exams were going to end, she had already made plans with her gang. It was about to take an unexpected turn.

Behind her sits Adil, a cute boy who is always well prepared for exams and helped Krupa to score decent marks. Adil, being an introvert and a friend, was fascinated by Krupa. He wanted to hang out with her, but never really asked her out. This time he had decided to ask her out on the last day of examination. Entering the room, he waved towards Krupa and took his place. He said, “Today is the last day and I am super excited as I have planned something. What are your plans?”. She replied in jittery manner “Dude, I am not at all prepared. You have to help me otherwise I will fail.” Without thinking for a second he said, “I am always there to help you out. Don’t worry. I wanted to ask you something”. Stopping him in middle she said, “Adil, I hardly understand economics and I have also not studied every chapter. So, don’t you waste your time and ask someone who will help you out.”

“No, No, it is not about economics. It is something else. Actually, I don’t know how to say this” stated with few stammers. Krupa gave a blank look and Adil started speaking again with nervousness. “Actually, I have two tickets to a book launch event. Would you like to accompany me?” He asked. She turned around and started studying, which left Adil in blank state of mind. After a minute, she turned around and asked him, “You know, I am not into books. But which is this book? I hope it is some nonsense, so that we can joke about it later on”

Adil’s smile did not fade away till the end of examination.

After completing the paper, they both went to Asiatic Library, which is in the south of Mumbai. The book was about the magic and how four magicians robs a bank. As the event started, they sat and were listening wholeheartedly. Within 15 minutes, Krupa started yawning. She got up and went to get some coffee. She looked at the stairs and climbed up to explore a terrace, which showed a beautiful landscape of clouds, sky, sun and planes. She ran down and pull Adil from the seat. As both of them entered the terrace, forgot everything going around. They sat down with the coffee mug.

With the endless talks, time passed away and event had completed. Both of them were not aware until the lights started dimming in the library. But laziness and comfortable weather had wrapped the bodies, which made them think that when all the lights will go off library will shut. They decided to spend few more minutes.

After 30 minutes, they came down and walked towards the exist. Whole library was black out and the doors were locked. Both of them were scared and started screaming “Help! Help! We are trapped inside. Somebody please open the door.” As they started getting tired, Krupa went and sat on the stairs. Adil was banging the door like mad man. Nothing was helping them out. Krupa went up again to get some coffee. As they reached first floor, she saw some light from a closed door.

With heart filled with hope, she knocked the door to meet someone to help. As she knocked the door, the door opened with little push. Looking at light, She screamed Adil’s name. Adil ran up and stand beside her, looking at the strange thing. The light was coming from a book, which was on floor. Dust had accumulated on the cover as no one had touched the book in ages. The title of the book said was Goosebump. They were scared and tempted to open the book and know what was in it. But the fear had grown strong, made them walk backwards.

As Krupa banged the door, Adil got scared and kicked the book. The book smashed into the shelf and opened up. The room filled with the light and something strange was coming out. Look at the purple 6 feet inch chimpanzee like creature, they both fall down on floor. The red eyes of it, shut them up.

Next morning, both of them were not found in the library and the book was again lying on the floor as it was when they had found it.

(Prompt: You went to library and accidentally lock yourself inside)