Don’t suppress your feelings ever.
I have left my job and learning photoshop on my own. As I told my parents about leaving my accountant paying job, they were in shock. They told me not to share it with my friends and work on it. I am at home all the time. Since, my contact with people have minimised, I had fall into loneliness. Due to which, I had become restless and lost focus from work.
Yesterday, my friend Dhwani texted me she was bored and can’t take it. I was filled with it, I need a break in pattern. So, I decided to spend that afternoon at her place. We watched the first episode of No Tomorrow. After sometime, his friend Pasant came and said Dhwani’s mom that we all are going for a car ride. As all of them came together, I shut myself up. I was shock to listen how openly they could communicate with each other. They were talking about alcohol, hookah and other things which we don’t talk about in front of parents. As we came back, Pasant and Dhwani’s younger sister decided to go to eat waffle. But Dhwani was mad at Pasant, as he did not take her out any day like he take others and said no. They fight for over an hour and then we all left to eat. At that time I said,”I want that”. But it did not struck my mind. I got to see real friendship after ages.
Today, again out of restlessness, I was watching No Tomorrow. In today’s episode Xavier and Evie had a fight and at the end they patch it up. At that time I realised, the whole game is about expressing your feelings. How Dhwani expressed that she was mad and same way Xavier did. The best part of it was, fight did not end that relationship. My life long belief has shattered. Now, I know, a fight will only make the bond stronger than it was.
I have never expressed myself out of fear of losing that relationship. But that fear, kept me away from great relationship (probably).
Now I wonder, if I had told Jash that it was not cool to not ask me for last year navratri, I would have told him about all other things.
If I had told Chirag that I lost respect from him when he told his client to gift him a phone case. I would still be hanging out with him on Sunday evening.
If I had asked Vatsal why he did not tell me about his first kiss, then we would be sharing great things right now.
I wished I had told Dhwani (other friend) that her gift did not mean anything because she did not made it when I was happy about the results. I guessed then we would go to watch Jab Harry Met Sejal.
I wished I had expressed everything to Karan and I could be his friend atleast.
This will definitely change something and I hope I can repair my all the damaged relationship as soon as possible.